hushpiper: (velocipede)
...I have a problem: I'm spending far too much time on Artbreeder.

Read more... )
hushpiper: (starfisher)
Mia nuna projekto estas–nu, estas unue krei personan e-libran bibliotekon, do mi havos multon por legi, sed estas due legi Hari Potter en Esperanto. Mi feliĉas kun mia nuna aranĝo, konsistanta el:


Nun mi povas legi uzanta Calibre, kaj elstarigi tekston por ke mi povu vidi la tradukon laŭbezone. Mi povas fari ion similan per FBReader, sed ĝi estas iom malpli bona.

Pli malfrue, mi eksciis ke la vorta-serĉa funkcio funkcias je PDF-dosieroj krome, do la EPUB ne estas strikte necesa. Malgraŭe, ĝi estas utila havi, ĉar EPUB povas legi laŭte per parolsintezo–la Pola voĉo “Maja” de Ivona ŝajnas fari bonan laboron; dirinte tion, mia aŭskultada kapablo estas ne tre lerta, do ĝi povus esti aĉa kaj mi ne scius. Ivona por Android, jen:

https://www.reddit.com/r/tasker/comments/dnspl3/tts_ivona_tts_engine_collection_all_voices/

Mi poste parolos pri uzado de polaj parolsintezoj voĉoj por Esperanto.

Asks Entry

May. 3rd, 2020 12:39 pm
hushpiper: tell her that's young / and shuns to have her graces spied / that hadst thou sprung / in deserts where no men abide (Default)
Asks on Tumblr were pretty great, imo--one of the better features of a bad platform, because it allowed lurkers and anonymous users to actually interact with fandom in a way that they wouldn't otherwise. So this is my attempt to reproduce that here: comments on this entry are screened, so comment here with your ask and I'll make an entry with my reply. Anons allowed and welcome.
hushpiper: (telephone game)

Dreamwidth is a great platform, but one of its biggest downsides is its post editor: it can be finicky, and it doesn’t allow you to save multiple drafts, making it difficult to write anything lengthy. You can use a text editor on your computer to draft the posts, but that chains you to a single device and can lead to lost drafts.

My answer to this issue is StackEdit, an in-browser markdown editor that can sync with Google Drive (or Dropbox) and exports to HTML that can be pasted directly into Dreamwidth. [personal profile] jesse_the_k  has a great writeup on general markdown use for Dreamwidth here, but we’re going to take a slightly different tack: rather than using Dreamwidth’s built-in markdown capabilities, we’re going to use StackEdit to export to HTML that we can paste into Dreamwidth’s editor.

Getting Started

So to start with, get yourself over to https://stackedit.io/ and click “Start Writing”. Go through the tour if you like, give the welcome file a read. Summary of the most important stuff is this:

  • The bold/italics/etc buttons at the top work basically how you would expect; more detailed formatting is outlined in the welcome file.

  • Click the folder icon on the top left and you can create new files and folders, or delete or rename new ones.

  • Click the StackEdit icon at the top right, and you can sign in with your google account in order to sync everything in the cloud.1

When you’ve finished making your post, click the StackEdit icon at the top right and click “Import/export” and then “Export as HTML”. In the box that pops up, select “Plain HTML” and then click “COPY” (not “OK”). That copies the HTML onto your clipboard.

Now! Go to your Dreamwidth and click “Post”. In the editor, click the “HTML” tab and paste. Then click “Preview” at the bottom to see what it’ll look like on your journal. Fill out the other post fields as you like and make changes as needed2, and post. Voila!

1. If you choose not to sync with the cloud, all your files will be in your browser’s local storage. Don’t clear your cache, or you’ll lose it!

2. I suggest you stick to the HTML tab though: the rich text formatter has its own ideas of what HTML should look like, and it may quickly become unwieldy. If you need to do any major editing, I say head back to StackEdit for that.


Cloud Sync & Workspaces

I know Google’s walked their promise to not be evil way back, but signing in with a Google account is where the best features of StackEdit come into play–so I really do recommend it. To do that, click the StackEdit icon on the top right, click “Sign in with Google”, and do the whole sign-in thing–you know the drill.

That will immediately start syncing your files to your Google account, keeping them backed up and synced between devices. (Want to write on your phone? Just go to the site in your mobile browser and sign in, and all your files will be right there and ready to work on.3)

But there’s even greater rewards to be found in utilizing workspaces. Workspaces can be synced with specific Google Drive folders, making the files easy to access outside of StackEdit if you want to. They also allow an extra level of organization, as each workspace has its own set of files and folders.

  1. Go to your Google Drive and create a folder for your workspace. I have a folder for each fandom that I do a significant amount of writing for. Make sure it has a unique name not used elsewhere in your drive, or you’ll have trouble later.

  2. Add a Google Drive-backed workspace by going to the StackEdit menu, clicking “Workspaces”, then “Add a Google Drive workspace”.

  3. Click “Choose folder” and select the folder you created in step 1, and then click “OK”. The choose folder dialog won’t show you your drive’s folder structure, only individual folders, which is why you need it to have a unique name.

  4. Click “OK”. The new workspace will open up in a new tab, and StackEdit will set up shop in the folder, creating .stackedit-data and stackedit-trash folders for itself. Any new files and folders you create in StackEdit will be saved to this folder in markdown format.

3. I use mobile Firefox and have noticed issues with creating line breaks in StackEdit there. (Sketchy workaround is to keep at least one character in front of your cursor whenever you want to make a line break.) I don’t know whether that also happens in other mobile browsers, and haven’t bothered reporting the bug yet, but it’s worth noting.


Other Notes

StackEdit can do almost all the editing you’ll need to do, but not, unfortunately, all. You’ll need the Dreamwidth editor to do Dreamwidth-specific things like tagging a user (like <user name="hushpiper">) since StackEdit won’t recognize that as valid HTML. It’ll just get stripped out.

However, any standard HTML is also valid markdown, so if you want to do something fancy that StackEdit doesn’t natively support but that can be accomplished with HTML, just write it out in HTML and it’ll be there in your export. Superscript is one example I used above.

StackEdit considers two line breaks to be equivalent to a <p> tag, which in my opinion is way too much space between paragraphs when translated onto Dreamwidth. I'm sure there's a good workaround so that it doesn't do this, so watch this space for updates.

hushpiper: tell her that's young / and shuns to have her graces spied / that hadst thou sprung / in deserts where no men abide (Default)
(This entry is in response to both a Tumblr ask and a followup anonymous comment here.)

Asked by Anonymous

Did Eren really mean it when he said to Levi Armin is different than him because he has dreams and all he had was killing the titans and revenge? I think he either didn’t understand himself or i didn’t understand him right




You’re referring to this page?

Eren: But that was a dream we had as little kids. I’d forgotten it a long time ago… All I had left in my head was hate… getting revenge for my mom… and killing the titans… He’s different, though. Fighting isn’t all he has. He dreams, too!!

I do think Eren meant that, yeah.

From a story perspective, I think that page is less about Eren than it is about Levi. The whole stretch from late-Uprising through Return To Shiganshina could in some ways be characterized as “Levi Has Thoughts: The Arc”. People say things, and we see that Levi hears and is thinking about them, but he keeps the actual contents of his thoughts private. But while Levi is that sequence’s main purpose, it does also say a lot about Eren, and about how Eren sees himself and Armin. I don’t think Eren is in any way duplicitous when he’s saying this: he is desperate, and entirely earnest. This is what Eren truly thinks.

And the thing is, the rest of the story supports it.

Before shipping out to Shiganshina(c72), the trio discuss their future while Levi eavesdrops, and Mikasa asks whether they’ll be able to go back to the days when they were children. Eren’s answer is his typical combination of determination and anger, saying they’ll bring back what they can, and make them pay for the rest. It’s Armin who turns the gloomy tide of the conversation by telling them stories of the outside world, even calling Eren out for seeming doubtful–a moment so important that we see it twice, first in chapter 72, and then again in Levi’s flashback in 84.

On their way to Shiganshina, we get to see Eren recounting his memory of the first time Armin talked to him about going to the ocean, and how it affected him. The most striking thing there–other than how strong an effect Armin’s dream has had on Eren’s life–was that Eren never talked about it inspiring him to explore or see these things for himself; only about the realization that he had, when looking at Armin excited face just then, that he wasn’t free. He caught a glimpse something beautiful and reacted with anger.

In the battle at Shiganshina(c81) we even get a direct contrast: we see Eren in flashback saying “When I think about getting my freedom back, I feel strength welling up inside of me,” followed by Armin in the present thinking back on Eren’s words and saying “When I think about the outside world, I feel courage welling up inside of me.”–and then a beautiful repeat of Armin waking Eren up as he did in Trost.

We get sequence after sequence painting this same picture, of Armin filled with awe and optimism, and Eren able to find nothing but anger in response–and by the end of Uprising, Eren is aware of the pattern. I was talking to a friend about this, and she said she thought the whole thing was deeply sad: Eren knows that the kinds of feelings he saw in Armin exist. He isn’t blind to them. And he knows that he doesn’t have them.

Chapter 72, Eren: You looked like you were having an amazing dream. A dream I couldn't see.

Eren sees Armin’s dream as a beautiful thing that he’ll never be able to fully experience, and when it comes down to life and death–and it does come down to life and death, not only in Shiganshina but all the way back in Trost, when Eren pulls Armin from the titan’s mouth–we’re shown that this is what he sees in Armin that’s so important to him that he’d rather die than see it go out of the world: Armin has a dream, where Eren doesn’t. Armin opened his eyes.
hushpiper: (breathe)
Antidepressants are wonderful, life-saving medications. There’s a large range of them available to suit different specific brain chemistries. They can have un-fun but generally non-dangerous side effects, but if they are the thing you need then they can change your life. However, they have one really big downside: the condition they treat (unipolar depression) is difficult or sometimes impossible to distinguish from a condition that they can greatly exacerbate or outright trigger (bipolar depression), at serious and long-lasting cost to the patient.

Meanwhile lamotrigine is a cheap, safe mood stabilizer with one (1) major side effect (the possibility of a bad rash when beginning or raising the dose), which is very rare and goes away quickly if you stop or lower the dose.1 It works really well for bipolar depression, fairly well for bipolar mania, and even works for some unipolar depression, BPD and PTSD. Its only downside is that it might not work for you.

For some godforsaken reason, despite all this, lamotrigine is not first-line treatment for depression. I find this scandalous and infuriating, especially given how awful mental health professionals generally are at recognizing bipolar disorder. So for you, dear reader at whom I have probably flung this article while screaming into a pillow, I provide a list of good times for a person with depression to consider bipolar meds and/or a bipolar spectrum diagnosis:

  • When going to the doctor for depression for the first time;

  • When going to the doctor for depression for the second time;

  • When considering taking an antidepressant;

  • When you haven’t tried lamotrigine yet;

  • When 3+ antidepressants have failed to fully address your depression;

  • When one or more antidepressants made your depression worse, or made you feel very anxious or agitated, or gave you insomnia;

  • When one more or antidepressants have worked well for your depression but then suddenly and mysteriously stopped working;

  • When your depression includes the type of anxiety characterized by general sense of itchy/skin-crawly bad vibrating energy, inability to sit still or pay attention, racing or circling negative thoughts, or irritable outbursts (this does not need to fit criteria for hypomania);

  • When your depression comes with intense insomnia or sleep schedule fuckery;

  • When your depression comes with very low energy, excessive sleep, and your mood responds to your environment (happy or exciting things make you temporarily happy or excited but the depression does not lift);

  • When your first depressive episode came early in your life (earlier than twenty-five, moreso if it was late teens or even younger);

  • When you find that when not depressed, you are somewhat more creative, sociable, or energetic than most people;

  • When you have had psychosis during depression, or post-partum depression;

  • When you HAVE RELATIVES WITH BIPOLAR LSKHDFSD

Signed,

Someone who is so, so fucking tired of constantly spotting bipolar spectrum disorders in people that their doctors have fucking missed.
 


1It can also make your mood shoot up if you’re bipolar and currently cycling. (Though it could also just stop your cycling out the gate–that is more common, from what I know.) Once you’re up to the target dose (100-200mg) that goes away. If you’re bouncing off the walls in the meantime you can temporarily take some lithium to control it. On 25mg I went through about a week of intense hypomania that dropped like a stone the moment I bumped up to 50mg. Talk to your doc, but I recommend you bear through it.

2For more information on all of this, including copious links to studies and discussion from an experienced medical doctor, check out psycheducation.org.

hushpiper: (occupy)

You: looking for a new, post-Tumblr home, interested in the decentralized communities and open source platforms of the fediverse, overwhelmed by all the choices and looking for a place to call home.
Me: here to help.

Anything marked with TODO here is, well, stuff I still need to do. If you know of any instances that fit the bill or can help in whatever way, sound off in the comments! [TODO: Japanese or French language instances; pawoo; political; foss and tech; furry; queer]

- I'm not sure what I want... can't I just get a general, vanilla experience to get my feet wet?
Try out mastodon.social. It's run by the creator of Mastodon, and is basically the default experience. You'll see occasional kerfluffles about it, usually complaints about how it's moderated or beef with the creator himself. But if you find you don't like the crowd, don't worry! You can always move later. [TODO: since mastodon.social occasionally closes registrations and is currently getting blocked by a lot of instances, find some other generalized instances to rec. mastodon.cloud maybe?]

- I want to talk about the fall of the bourgeousie and the rise of the proletariat. Eat the rich!
You can go pretty much anywhere on mastodon for this, tbh, there’s a shitton of communists (not just socialists: communists) hanging around. It’s almost like the emphasis on grassroots communities and the institutionalized mistrust of authority attracts a certain kinda crowd… 🤔

- Hey, this whole community-run social network thing is interesting. Are there any instances run cooperatively, with a democratic or maybe even anarchist bent?
There's a couple co-ops around. social.coop is worth mentioning for notability's sake, though it ran into a snowbank in its decision making process in 2018 and registrations are currently closed. Other than that the most prominent one is sunbeam.city, which describes itself as libertarian socialist solarpunk. Both instances make their decisions via loomio.

- I'm a writer, and I want to talk and hang out with other writers.

writing.exchange has your back. They're small and cozy and focused on writing.

- I may or may not write, but I wanna hang out with sci-fi and fantasy fans.

wandering.shop may be a good fit for you. They recently closed registrations due to spam, but will add anyone who asks: just make an alt account on another instance and @phildini@wandering.shop and I'm sure they'll give you an invite.

- I want an instance where I can talk to OG, LJ-era fandom in a small and accepting space.

Try fandom.ink! [TODO: more info]

- I am a literal witch or witch-aligned, I have an attitude, and I miss tumblr.

Witches.live is here for you. [TODO: more info] (If you want a softer and less witchy tumblresque experience, see berries.space below.)

- I am an artist.

[TODO: cleanup] artalley.porn for nsfw, mastodon.art for general (signups closed), baraag.net for the wild west (see below), pawoo.net if you're the type of artist who's comfortable on pixiv. Whatever instance you decide on, tag your art with #mastoart and #creativetoot so that people can find it!

- I'm an academic, and would like a strongly moderated, academia-focused instance.

Try scholar.social. They are meant as both "a mastodon profile you can be proud to put on the last slide of a presentation at a conference", and as a safe space for queer and marginalized academics. They're occasionally criticized for limiting academic debate due to their safe space policies (see here, also a good example of how federation creates filter bubbles--the OP didn't see any of this discussion happening), but their stated policy is that there is no shortage of spaces in academia for open debate, but few academic spaces which are safe for marginalized people. (TODO: find citation for that last; I can't remember where I saw it.) This creates a few interesting cases, like an academic specializing in internet censorship, talking about internet censorship, on an instance which proudly censors: here.

- I'm interested in STEM and academia, and would like a learning-focused instance that doesn't restrict discussion or debate.

Try QOTO. It stands for "Question Others, Teach Others". It has some nice extra bits: LaTeX support (if you're interested in that), a very high character limit (65,535 for toots and bios), and a PeerTube (federated video hosting) instance for active users. Unfortunately, since it is labeled as a "free speech zone", many instances have it blocked or silenced.

- Ack... isn't there an academic instance somewhere in between the two?

This is specifically science rather than academia per se, but you could try scicomm.xyz. It's much smaller than the other two, and quieter, but still has a complete code of conduct. If you're more interested in the humanities, you can look at humanities.one, a quiet instance that recently re-opened registrations.

- I like to play it fast and loose I'm here to shitpost and chew bubblegum AAAHHHHHH

KNZK and radical.town are rules-lite and easygoing with a lot of userbase overlap, they're your jam, you're welcome.

Note that KNZK is located in Japan and the owner/moderator is Japanese, with somewhat limited understanding of English. Due to this, KNZK tends to be somewhat more lightly moderated than radical.town. Uncertain as to whether KNZK allows loli--if anyone knows, hmu.

- I want to be able to see and post art of every possible kink–loli, shota, furries, bondage, robot sex, you name it!

Check out baraag.net, the local hive of scum and villainy. They’re up for anything as long as it’s drawn; their servers are in France, where that’s legal (or at least, legal enough that koi is willing to risk it). Unfortunately though, most other instances block baraag.net because they allow loli/shota, which many jurisdictions rule as child porn. So your experience will mostly be confined to the local timeline. That’s not half bad though, since the timeline is hoppin’ and the company is chill.

- I'm a sex worker, and want to advertise or talk to other sex workers.

Switter.at opened up as a place for sex workers, and it's gotten even more popular after the FOSTA-SESTA business. One of their admins talked about their experience on Medium; it's an interesting read.

- I want porn. Just. Lots of porn. Where'd the people who got kicked off tumblr go?

Very NSFW links: sinblr.com and humblr.social are both porn instances oriented toward the performers who left tumblr; check them out.

- I want... niche porn.

Very NSFW links: There's a couple of these, depending on the niche. kinky.business is for general kink; abdl.link is for abdl (crinklefur.club is the furry equivalent); biglittle.space is for ddlg and cgl.

- I want to shout into the void and hear the entire fediverse roaring back into my ears! Maybe with some bonus technical features other instances don’t have.

You want mastodon.host: they federate with everybody (yes, even the nasty kinksters) as a rule, and allow basically everything that’s legal in the US/EU (so no loli) so long as it’s under a CW. Their federated timeline is wild, perfect for discovering new things, and they've got a bunch of technical goodies (like their own PeerTube instance) that they outline on their site.

- I want the 4chan experience, but federated.

This definitely exists, but I'm not sure where. pl.smuglo.li comes to mind. Beyond that, check out the instances on Dzuk’s blocklist and see what you can find. Keep in mind, of course, many instances will have them blocked due to, yanno, being on the blocklist. Also worth noting that most of these instances use pleroma (fediverse software similar to mastodon, interoperable with it), rather than mastodon; this is pretty much due to a quirk of fediverse history, not anything to do with the software itself.

- I am concerned about Russian interference with American social media, and I might want to talk to others about the leftist conspiracy.

counter.social is an interesting possibility. It was created by the hacktivist known as TheJester, and blocks all VPN traffic and traffic from IP addresses originating in countries he considers hostile to the US (Russia, China, etc). It styles itself as America-centric and privacy focused.

- Ew, that shit is awful! I just want a place with a sort of tumblr feel, but without any abuse/incest/pedophilia, and strict rules against -isms.

Give berries.space a try. They’re the most popular English-language instance in the federation (constantly vying with friends.nico, a Japanese instance, for first place), so there’s plenty of activity. Its rules are detailed and geared to appeal to a lot of tumblrites.

- That shit is awful, but I don’t like berries.space–I’d like something quieter but still strictly moderated, a little less tumblr-esque, maybe on a slightly different software?

Try out soteria.mastodon.host. Its rules are very slightly less strict than berries.space but still leave no room for [insert gross thing here], and it runs on another microblogging platform called Pleroma. It’s still interoperable with Mastodon, and if you’re used to one then the other isn’t too hard to learn.

- No, just blocking that awful shit isn’t good enough–those other instances still exist! They’re still over there, being gross and poisoning society! They shouldn’t be allowed to do that. How can anybody support a platform that also enables pedophiles and nazis?

Consider the possibility that federation may not be for you.

- No! Nazis shouldn’t even be able to talk to each other–at all! This is wrong!

I hear you, but what you’re saying is completely counter to the structure and point of federation. Everyone can create and choose a community that aligns with their values–whatever those values are–and if you think that community and values are shitty, you make that known by refusing to associate with them, in the form of blocks. Mastodon, and federated software in general, is just software: it makes no judgment on what speech flows through it, just gives communities the tools to police themselves and keep the peace within their spaces.

Please consider that the freedom that allows nazis to communicate with each other freely is also the freedom that allows LGBT communities to socialize freely. The law still applies, but beyond that there’s no central authority to appeal to when someone crosses the line into something you hate, and that’s the point. If you are coming from Tumblr, there’s a good chance you are part of some marginalized group: consider how many people hate who and what you are. Look at society. Do you really want to give somebody else the power to decide who can and can’t have a space?

- Okay, okay, I get it. I need a niche that you didn't already address in this list though.

The fediverse is a big, big place. Check out some instance lists, like Dzuk's and instances.social.

hushpiper: (toy-soldiers)
Anonymous asked:

Hello. Do you think Gabi and Falco will become a part of Historias arc in these upcoming chapters?

I do.

I’ve got a post in my drafts, dated December 31st–chapter 100–about this exact topic (I definitely know how to spend my New Year’s Eve). I’ve fussed and fussed over it, because I wasn’t sure of the exact right way to word it, and I didn’t want to get it wrong. But in the chapters since then, Gabi and Falco made it onto the airship to Paradis, and are now loose on the island where Historia is waiting. Against all odds, the pieces for the scenario I was hoping for in the wake of chapter 100 just keep moving into position. So this is what I wrote–to myself–about Gabi at the time:

This girl spent every day of her life being told–directly and not–that she and the people she cares about are monsters. That they’re scum, that they shouldn’t exist, that they don’t deserve to exist.
But she never believed it. She looked at herself and her people and said, “No, we’re not monsters, we’re not dangerous, that isn’t true.”
“And I’ll prove it.”
She’s so determined. She’s going to fix it, she’s going to save all of them, she’s going to make it right. She’s so determined, and so heartbreakingly young. She doesn’t know yet that she can’t convince anyone. It doesn’t work that way. All the things she plans to do will only enable and empower the people who continue to exploit and abuse her, who have exploited and abused and ultimately broken her cousin before her. And because Gabi is strong, and Gabi is determined, she will continue to fight the wrong fight until it breaks her too.
And all the while, there will be more Eldian children born into this world just like her, but not as strong, and so when the people around those children tell them that they are monsters, that they deserve to die for the crime of having lived, they will believe it.

That part wasn’t hard to write; sobbing over the tragedies of these characters is the easiest thing in the world for me. What was hard to write–what I’m still not sure how to write–was the part that came next.

Because this was chapter 100, the chapter when we got Willy’s speech, when we see the depth of his self-hatred and the real face of the poison that has sickened the Eldians in Marley: “I… would choose to have never been born, if it were up to me. I’ve hated my blood, more than anyone else.” Words that sound so strangely similar to what we heard about Historia, of all people. Historia, who was never wanted, who should have never been born.

Read backwards, and Historia’s words to Eren in the cave, during the Uprising, sound like a response to Willy: “I can’t be a good girl… and I don’t want to be a god. But when I see someone crying, saying no one needs them… I want to tell them it’s not true. No matter who! No matter where! I’ll come to the rescue!!”

There’s an entire country of children being told, as she was, that they aren’t wanted–that they’re horrible people from birth and can only become accepted by allowing themselves to be used up and spat out, just as she was led to believe about herself. These are the people she wanted to help, “no matter who, no matter where.”

And now two of them are practically on her doorstep, newly angry and grieving and questioning, right at a time when she may be desperately needing a reminder of her purpose. Who did she take the throne for, if not for Gabi? Historia is the antidote to the poison that’s been fed to Falco and Gabi in Marley, and I just want them to make it to her to find it.

hushpiper: (starfisher)
Anonymous asked:

So what do you think is going on with Eren in terms of his relationship with the 104th? Do you think he cares (as Mikasa indicates) or do you think he doesn't anymore/isn't the same person (as Jean and Connie imply)? Personally I think they're both wrong and right. I think Mikasa is lying to herself a little bit ("he's doing this all for us") but I do think she's correct in saying Eren cares about them. Similarly I don't think Jeans wrong in saying that Eren certainly isn't acting like he cares. But him and Connie misinterpreted the laugh he gave at Sashas death. So they aren’t completely correct either. Where do you think Eren’s headspace is at in regard to his friends?

I think I’m largely with you on this anon. I definitely think Eren cares, and I think Jean and Connie are misinterpreting him in general, and specifically over the laugh. (Understandable; he’s gone spectacularly off the rails, and they’re all second-guessing their understanding of him.) I think Mikasa knows him better and is much closer to correct, but I suspect her opinion of Eren here is probably a little… overly sunny? That’s my compact answer.

For my less-compact answer: Eren does care about his friends–about their safety, their dignity, their rights, their happiness. But about his relationship to them? Look, I’m not exactly saying that Eren could be perfectly content if his friends were safe and free but they hated him and he never saw them again… but I am kind of saying that.

Eren’s pretty shit at relationships, I think. He’s always been an outcast due to his uh, radical ideals–ideals he was never willing to compromise on, regardless of the social consequences–and I suspect he just got used to that. (See his exchange with Grisha over his lack of friends as a kid; it’s very telling.) Solitude and ostracization is, in a weird way, his comfort zone.

I’m sure that having friends has been wonderful and comforting for him these past years; not only friends but comrades in his fight. People who accept him for the weird-ass ragemonster he is, who even value that in him. This is kind of new, for him, and we see him glom on to new friends–like a good shonen protagonist!–despite himself, as soon as the opportunity presents itself. If they died, or got hurt because of him, he would be heartbroken–we’ve seen that. And losing their acceptance would be a blow. But he’s used to not being accepted; his heart will go on.

So I think the way he’s acting now–as though he doesn’t care–is less about him changing, and more about him… going back to his baseline. They’re angry, they disagree with what he thinks and what he’s doing, fine. Story of his life. He will do what he feels he must, what he feels is right.

I don’t know whether I think Mikasa’s right that he’s doing it all/specifically for them (as opposed to partially for them, or for Paradis in general). Actually if you’d asked me around chapter 107 I would have said he did it all either purely for The Cause or specifically to try to save Historia; but after 108? I’m coming around to Mikasa’s view on it a bit. I think there’s an element of rose-colored glasses there, but I suspect of anybody in the room, she’s the closest to the truth.

hushpiper: These the keen-scented / These were the souls of blood. (lighter)

Belatedly, I want to talk about the current developments in Historia’s storyline. Originally I found the pregnancy plot deeply upsetting (unwanted or ambivalent pregnancies are a huge squick for me, especially with a character I’m so invested in), and it worried me to see a character’s autonomy taken away for the sake of an edgy storyline that may not take into account her character or her previous story arc. But as I’ve turned it over in my mind through this month, my view has changed. The themes implied in this storyline are intimately tied to Historia’s character; it wouldn’t work with anyone else.

Issues of family and acceptance form a major part of Historia’s psyche. Her mother rejected her from the beginning (”I am not this child’s mother! She has nothing to do with me!”), followed by her father (”Very well... neither of them are related to me.”). These early rejections form the basis of her former martyr complex and suicidal tendencies: she must win the acceptance of others, and even her life is not too high a price to pay for it. Her character development in Uprising comes as she rejects them in turn--first by smashing the serum and then by killing her father--and accepts herself in spite of them by identifying herself to onlookers by her own name.

And then she opens the orphanage. Of all of the things she could do with her power as a queen, we are explicitly told, this is what she’s chosen to do. Historia wants to be a mother to these children, as Frieda couldn’t truly be for her. She wants to give them the love and acceptance that she didn’t have. Her arc follows a clear line: from rejection, to self-acceptance, to paying it forward.

But an emerging theme in this story is the mistakes of the parents haunting their children. The protagonists have inherited a world fucked up by their parents’ mistakes, and increasingly they are faced with the same forces their parents grappled with--and find themselves perpetuating the same cycles as the previous generations. And so the story has placed Historia on the other side of the table: now she is an expecting mother with a child forced upon her by circumstances she doesn’t fully want. (“If only you were never born--”) It places her in her mother’s shoes and asks her, implicitly, “What will you do? Will you be better than your parents?”

Halfway through Uprising, I took a break from the manga. After Levi strong-armed Historia into agreeing to take the crown, I couldn’t see a way for the arc to end that I could be okay with. Any road from there seemed doomed to end in Historia being installed as a puppet queen under threat of violence, with her wishes and indeed her personhood being trampled for the sake of the greater good and the wishes of the military. (And doesn’t that sound familiar?)

Instead, it ended with Historia getting one of the manga’s rare true victories. After several chapters of struggle, she took the situation into her own hands, and took the crown on her own terms. She didn’t change her circumstances--the coup still needed to happen and they still needed her to take the crown--and she did not run from them, as Levi suggested. But she took control of them. She refused to be treated as a puppet in her own life. By the time she took the crown, it was her choice to do so.

So much symbolic good--or evil--rests in Historia’s child, and the choice she may now be presented, to embrace or reject it. And she is perhaps the best of the cast to rise to the challenge. So when fate faces Historia and asks her “What will you do?”, she may do what she’s done before: take the circumstances that were forced upon her, and make them her own.

hushpiper: tell her that's young / and shuns to have her graces spied / that hadst thou sprung / in deserts where no men abide (Default)

Asked by Anonymous

Thank you for answering my question about shifter lifespans! I loved what you had to say, and I had never thought about how gaining the shifter power might actually end up lengthening Armin’s life considering how fast the SC are dying . Also interesting how Zeke may be replacing Armin in Eren’s life. Do you think Eren and Armin will ever be at the same level of friendship as they were before the time skip, or do you think they’ll only grow further apart? (I’m trying to avoid spoilers)




Thank you anon! I’m glad you enjoyed it, cuz I enjoyed answering it. And I support you in your spoiler-avoiding endeavours! (Do blacklist “snk spoilers” though, since I occasionally reblog spoiler content with that tag.) So I’ll answer before reading the 106 leaks, and we’ll very quickly see how wrong I end up being. ;)

For anyone reading who didn’t see the previous post: I mentioned in the tags that Zeke may potentially be replacing Armin’s role in Eren’s life as the more level, strategic mind telling him where to direct his efforts and channel his energy. Eren seems at his best when he has somebody like that in his life, but with his apparent split from his friends, it seems Armin may no longer be that person.

It kills me to say this, because I have always been so emotionally invested in the EMA dynamic, but I don’t think Eren and Armin will ever get back to where they used to be in their relationship. Too much has changed.

One of the trends in the EMA relationships in general is that though they are close and though they love each other, basic misunderstandings abound. Each of them are very different people with very very different goals in life and understandings of the world. Eren and Armin in particular are opposites in a lot of ways. This starts to become clear in the return to Shiganshina, but is really driven home in the ocean scene: they’ve both been devoted to the dream of reaching the ocean, but their reasons have been completely different this whole time.

Armin is driven toward the ocean by a sense of curiosity and awe, traits that were probably encouraged in him by his parents. (After all, he got those banned books from somewhere.) The world, he learned early on, is enormous–far bigger than what’s inside the walls, where he’s bullied and disdained. It’s full of oceans and deserts and mountains that spew fire, strange and amazing things that he wants to see and understand. He looks toward the ocean with a sense of hope; he smiles when he talks about it, and you can see him light up.

Eren’s drive is very different. When he looked at those books, he didn’t feel curiosity or awe. He felt anger. Little bitty Eren, lying in bed, covers pulled up to his nose, stewing: beyond the walls there’s oceans and deserts and mountains that spew fire and he’s never gonna see them and it’s not fair. He should be free to go see them, everybody should be, but instead they’re penned up inside these walls with wolves snarling at the gates and nobody cares. Fuck that. He’s going to be free, he’s going to make it to the ocean, with Armin at his side, and fuck anybody who tries to stop them. He looks toward the ocean and feels righteous determination.

They’re two outcasts who found each other, and found a goal that inspired them both, and this carried them a long way. Armin never would’ve dared to make the push to get out to the ocean without Eren’s drive, and Eren would never have gotten anywhere without Armin’s guidance. But when they finally made it to the ocean, the fundamental differences in their viewpoints became impossible to ignore.

Any reconciliation that Eren and Armin have will have to come only after they realize their differences, and build new bridges and new bonds accordingly. They have to shift their relationship and reconnect as adults. It won’t be what they had as children, and it might always be bittersweet. But it might also be better, because they may come to understand each other in a way they never did before. I hope they get there–I hope they have time to get there. (And if they don’t, well, bury me in a pile of fix-it fic, friend.)

hushpiper: Why, what could she have done, being what she is? / Was there another Troy for her to burn? (burn)
Anonymous asked:

Thank you for answering my question about shifter lifespans! I loved what you had to say, and I had never thought about how gaining the shifter power might actually end up lengthening Armin’s life considering how fast the SC are dying . Also interesting how Zeke may be replacing Armin in Eren’s life. Do you think Eren and Armin will ever be at the same level of friendship as they were before the time skip, or do you think they’ll only grow further apart? (I’m trying to avoid spoilers)

Thank you anon! I’m glad you enjoyed it, cuz I enjoyed answering it. And I support you in your spoiler-avoiding endeavours! (Do blacklist “snk spoilers” though, since I occasionally reblog spoiler content with that tag.) So I’ll answer before reading the 106 leaks, and we’ll very quickly see how wrong I end up being. ;)

For anyone reading who didn’t see the previous post: I mentioned in the tags that Zeke may potentially be replacing Armin’s role in Eren’s life as the more level, strategic mind telling him where to direct his efforts and channel his energy. Eren seems at his best when he has somebody like that in his life, but with his apparent split from his friends, it seems Armin may no longer be that person.

It kills me to say this, because I have always been so emotionally invested in the EMA dynamic, but I don’t think Eren and Armin will ever get back to where they used to be in their relationship. Too much has changed.

One of the trends in the EMA relationships in general is that though they are close and though they love each other, basic misunderstandings abound. Each of them are very different people with very very different goals in life and understandings of the world. Eren and Armin in particular are opposites in a lot of ways. This starts to become clear in the return to Shiganshina, but is really driven home in the ocean scene: they’ve both been devoted to the dream of reaching the ocean, but their reasons have been completely different this whole time.

Armin is driven toward the ocean by a sense of curiosity and awe, traits that were probably encouraged in him by his parents. (After all, he got those banned books from somewhere.) The world, he learned early on, is enormous–far bigger than what’s inside the walls, where he’s bullied and disdained. It’s full of oceans and deserts and mountains that spew fire, strange and amazing things that he wants to see and understand. He looks toward the ocean with a sense of hope; he smiles when he talks about it, and you can see him light up.

Eren’s drive is very different. When he looked at those books, he didn’t feel curiosity or awe. He felt anger. Little bitty Eren, lying in bed, covers pulled up to his nose, stewing: beyond the walls there’s oceans and deserts and mountains that spew fire and he’s never gonna see them and it’s not fair. He should be free to go see them, everybody should be, but instead they’re penned up inside these walls with wolves snarling at the gates and nobody cares. Fuck that. He’s going to be free, he’s going to make it to the ocean, with Armin at his side, and fuck anybody who tries to stop them. He looks toward the ocean and feels righteous determination.

They’re two outcasts who found each other, and found a goal that inspired them both, and this carried them a long way. Armin never would’ve dared to make the push to get out to the ocean without Eren’s drive, and Eren would never have gotten anywhere without Armin’s guidance. But when they finally made it to the ocean, the fundamental differences in their viewpoints became impossible to ignore.

Any reconciliation that Eren and Armin have will have to come only after they realize their differences, and build new bridges and new bonds accordingly. They have to shift their relationship and reconnect as adults. It won’t be what they had as children, and it might always be bittersweet. But it might also be better, because they may come to understand each other in a way they never did before. I hope they get there–I hope they have time to get there. (And if they don’t, well, bury me in a pile of fix-it fic, friend.)

hushpiper: tell her that's young / and shuns to have her graces spied / that hadst thou sprung / in deserts where no men abide (Default)

Asked by Anonymous

How do you think the knowledge of his limited lifespan influenced Eren’s choices and decision making after finding out about it, if at all? How do you think that knowledge affect Armin? This was something I was thinking about after reading the latest chapter and I was curious to hear you thoughts! Would knowing there is no possible way you’d live to old age make fighting and killing easier or harder?




Hi anon! This is a great way for me to distract myself from upcoming spoilers, so with the standard meta writer “this is just my personal, falliable interpretation of their characters and psychology” disclaimer:

I think the knowledge of their impending doom adds to the weight of pressure and depression for both of them, but the differences in how they’d think about this really highlight the ways in which they differ as people.

Death itself isn’t something Eren fears. But my instinct with Eren is that what he does fear–deeply, desperately, more than anything else–is powerlessness and insignificance. Of dying with the knowledge that he’s accomplished nothing, that he wasn’t strong enough to change anything. So there’s no new sense of doom here: I doubt Eren ever thought he’d live to an old age anyway, or particularly wanted to. He’s just not built for peace. He’d take a short and brutal but meaningful life over a long, peaceful, unimportant one in a heartbeat. “I would happily give my life if I knew it would change something.”

All the knowledge of his own short lifespan would do is increase his sense of urgency: if he wants to make a change, well, gonna have to make it quick. He’s on a deadline. Which… could be a problem. The last thing “suicidal bastard” Eren needs is a reason to become more reckless.

Armin, on the other hand, does fear death–like any reasonable person. And unlike Eren, he’s the sort of person who would want to live to an old age if he could, even though he knows logically that his choices in life have made that possibility very slim. Armin would thrive in peace, but peace seems unlikely to come in what’s left of his lifetime. All he has left to look forward to now is the fight; he’s never going to see the metaphorical ocean. That would be a difficult blow for him to take.

But Armin has time now. Yes he’s going to die in thirteen years–but considering the death rate in the Survey Corps, he’s also more likely to live thirteen years than he was before. Shifters are hard to kill. He works best when he has time to think things through, without the pressure making him freeze up; well, he’s got time. Thirteen years. He just has to make them count.

But I suspect that we’ll find that the effect of Ymir’s curse on Zeke played a bigger role in Eren’s decisions than any worries about himself, and likely influenced Armin and other decision makers as well: Zeke is the key to a potentially war-winning weapon, and his time is very short indeed. If they’re going to use the coordinate for anything, they’d better make it quick, and they’d better make it count. The more dramatic and permanent the impact, the better.

Whatever they do, it needs to outlive all of them.

hushpiper: tell her that's young / and shuns to have her graces spied / that hadst thou sprung / in deserts where no men abide (Default)

Asked by yuu-nat

Since you said it's easier to write your thoughts when you have a specific topic to talk about (and I really liked the way you talked about chapter 105 Eren when we were discussing the chapter in the Eren discord server), I want to ask: thoughts on Eren in chapter 105? and also on his current mental state? thanks <3 (this is daya btw)




Ahhhh! Hey there, Daya! Thank you for the ask!

Eren’s mental state in 105: pretty fucked, all around.

The ways that people realistically react to and cope with seeing or doing terrible things have been a primary feature of this manga from day one. We see people shaking, screaming, and crying with fear, throwing up, lashing out in anger, going blank, questioning themselves, rationalizing their actions, repressing memories, forming separate identities, falling into depression or self-loathing–and that’s not even a complete list. In a genre usually characterized by power fantasies, Shingeki no Kyojin instead goes to pains to show us the powerlessness of its characters, and Isayama puts a lot of time and care into depicting their reactions to the trauma he inflicts on them.

Eren’s probably pretty depressed at this point. Mind, it’s hard to be a character in this series and not experience some depression, especially after the revelations in Grisha’s journals. In the past, Eren dealt with trauma and depression by pushing and fighting harder, and he only started to despair at the times when he thought his anger and determination wouldn’t be enough to change anything. But after the basement, it seems that he really isn’t strong enough to change this, at least not in any way that will matter. The world will never stop hating him and his people, simply because of what they are. No amount of shonen protagonist grit and determination can change that. Anger isn’t enough anymore.

image

Which of course is nowhere near enough suffering for Isayama’s taste. So on top of having the dreams that drove him kicked over like a sandcastle on the shore, and on top of all the events of the series up until the timeskip, he also has several lifetimes of traumatic memories seething somewhere in his mind. So: you have the memories of devouring your father, of yourself being devoured, of watching an eight year old girl being devoured by dogs–and the list only gets more horrible from there–all forcing themselves, in full sensory detail, into your consciousness without warning. The memories are there now, out of the box, you have them. What do you do with them?

Put them away again.

So let’s talk about dissociation. Speaking very generally, dissociation describes the human mind’s ability to disconnect parts of itself from the rest as a way of coping with stress. It covers everything from daydreaming to depersonalization to amnesia, and most people have experienced low-level versions of it. In intensely traumatic or stressful situations a mind can keep itself calm by putting the emotions (or even the memories) over there, far away from itself. At its most dramatic it can take the form of identity issues like Reiner’s, but at other times it might “just” feel like the world is strangely far away, and you’re not really a part of it. Like whatever awful thing is happening, you’re not the one experiencing it, or doing it–or you are but it doesn’t seem real–and in any case it just doesn’t hurt like it should. And you can’t snap out of it.

Dissociation probably isn’t a new coping mechanism for Eren: his memories of his father’s death were locked away tight for years, and he can press on through enormous amounts of physical pain. He’s never leaned on it quite this heavily before, but with the constant pressure he’s under, his old responses of anger and determination just aren’t enough to help him cope anymore. And when he reaches for something stronger, the dissociation is there, letting him take the things that would be too much to deal with and–not necessarily consciously–put them over there. That eerie calm that we’ve seen in recent chapters is alarming, but not surprising. It’s not even new: we saw it begin to take hold before the timeskip–and even earlier than that, after the coup.

image
image

And so we come to Liberio.

Although we don’t yet know why Eren decided to take this course of action, he clearly did feel that it was necessary. But the cost is high. This wouldn’t be the first time Eren has killed, but in the past he’s killed people he’s thought of as animals and monsters, not people he’s seen as being victims like himself. He’s jeopardizing his relationships with the people he cares about. He’s playing the part of the murderous monster that someone has to be, he’s isolating himself from others, and he doesn’t even know if it’ll be worth it. (”Maybe it’s hope. Maybe it’s yet another hell. I don’t know which it is.”)

There’s an element of walking stoically into the flames to Eren here. The person he’s always looked up to is looking down at him with disdain. This is fine. His friends are angry and may never trust him again. This is fine. He killed a lot of people today, including children. This is fine.

His friend is dead, and her last words were absurd, and this is not fine.

It’s hard to say where Eren’s going to go from here, emotionally. Sasha’s death overwhelmed him, but the dissociation will probably come back, and keep coming back, until he no longer needs it in order to keep going. That is Eren’s defining characteristic, after all: he keeps going, no matter what. Fight, because if you lose you die, and if you don’t fight then you can never win.

“Keep moving forward. That’s all we can do.”

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hushpiper: tell her that's young / and shuns to have her graces spied / that hadst thou sprung / in deserts where no men abide (Default)

So. In chapter 99, this happened:

The Lanky Soldier who went on to drop Pieck and Porco into a trap told Zeke to go on ahead. After chapter 102′s ending, I have been trying to think of an explanation for this that doesn’t require Zeke working with Paradis, and nothing I come up with is convincing. But I think the possibility that Zeke has turned traitor is not so unlikely as it seems now.

Read more... )
hushpiper: tell her that's young / and shuns to have her graces spied / that hadst thou sprung / in deserts where no men abide (Default)

I actually wasn’t planning on harping on law and war crimes with regards to chapter 101 any more than I’ve already done, and this post is probably premature given what we still don’t know. But I think it might be useful. There’s a lot of debate on what’s going on in Marley right now, and I think it’s safe to say that it’s Eren’s actions that have people most uncomfortable. Specifically, the deaths of the civilians in the building and in the crowd.

So I want to take some time to put this into a real-world context, by looking at our world’s laws as a comparison. Like any comparison of the real world with fiction, this is inherently unfair: these laws don’t exist in the fictional world. And like all laws, they don’t necessarily line up one-to-one with a person’s individual ideas of morality–laws can be just or unjust, and it’s legitimate to disagree with a law, to believe it goes too far or not far enough. But in general, a law represents the distilled and codified version of the sense of ethics of the culture which created them, and because of that they can be very clarifying. So:

By the standards of our world and the International Criminal Court, which has jurisdiction over international crimes like war crimes and genocide, based purely on what we know or can infer as of chapter 101: provided Eren is working with a plan, his actions at the festival would not constitute a war crime, and would not be considered out of place or exceptional in a modern war.

Here’s what the ICC’s Chief Prosecutor said in 2006 when similar questions came up regarding the invasion of Iraq (emphasis mine):

Under international humanitarian law and the Rome Statute, the death of civilians during an armed conflict, no matter how grave and regrettable, does not in itself constitute a war crime. […] A crime occurs if there is an intentional attack directed against civilians (principle of distinction) or an attack is launched on a military objective in the knowledge that the incidental civilian injuries would be clearly excessive in relation to the anticipated military advantage (principle of proportionality).

A few notes, using the wording directly from the Rome Statute1:

  • “the anticipated military advantage”–it doesn’t matter if something goes wrong and they don’t get the gains they were hoping for, the intention is what matters;
  • “the anticipated civilian damage or injury”–it doesn’t matter if something goes wrong and a clearly excessive amount of civilian casualties results, the calculation made beforehand is what matters;
  • “would be clearly excessive”.

That last one, you might point out, is exceedingly subjective. What constitutes a “clearly excessive” amount of casualties? But that indicates a very important piece of context: these charges are almost never brought up alone.2 Instead they are levied as additional charges against someone whose methods of war were themselves illegal3, or who has violated international law in other ways. This is, among other reasons, because civilian casualties are considered such a common–and unavoidable–part of a war. A commander’s judgment on whether the expected casualties are “clearly excessive” is rarely challenged in the first place.

Of course, there is a key question here: whether Eren is working according to a larger plan. The emphasis that the law places on intentions mean that if Eren is simply rampaging, then the charges of war crimes apply. But if there is a plan, and Eren expects to gain some military advantage from it on behalf of Paradis, then they most likely do not. We can’t answer that question yet, which is why I was hesitant to write this post. But I decided it’s probably worthwhile to add this to the conversation, even prematurely.

My hope is that by writing this up, rather than closing the debate on Eren’s actions, we can clarify the conversation we’re having about them. Because we, as a society, have had this conversation before, and it’s still ongoing: whatever your opinions on this development, someone else, somewhere, has already expressed them more clearly and eloquently in a real-world context; and someone else has clearly and eloquently disagreed with them. Part of the advantage of the clear parallels Isayama draws between this story and real military history is that those conversations are so relevant. Isn’t speculative fiction truly at its best when it provokes thought and debate about our world?


  1. In Article 8(2)(b)(iv) here. Article 51(5)(b) of Protocol I of the Geneva Conventions (here) is also relevant, but says basically the same thing. ↩︎

  2. I say “almost never” because I haven’t actually read through all the case law where Article 8(2)(b)(iv) charges were brought up–I only have so much time! ↩︎

  3. Our world’s international law is notably silent on the question of whether titan shifters are considered acceptable weapons of war. ↩︎

hushpiper: tell her that's young / and shuns to have her graces spied / that hadst thou sprung / in deserts where no men abide (Default)

There’s something about Eren that I don’t think I can emphasize enough:

image

No matter the age.

No matter the time or place or circumstances. Eren is the Attack Titan. I don’t know how the paths between the Children of Ymir are supposed to work, but if we look I think we have to conclude that Eren’s own fate and personhood were deeply tied up in what he would become long before it was ever certain. Maybe it’s so strong in him because he would eventually become the Coordinate, where all the paths converge–I don’t know. But:

No matter the age. Eren could have been born in paradise, in a world of perpetual peace–he practically was–and he would still be angry, and he would still be seeking, because there is no amount of freedom that is sufficient. (Thought: how much of Eren’s reaction to the slavers who took Mikasa was down to the fact that they were slavers?)

He’s doomed to restlessness, in any life. He can’t just stop and be satisfied, any more than he can stop breathing. Even if he settles down, even if he forgets, that’s the truth that’s always going to smolder at the bottom of his heart, and all it will take is a tiny blue-eyed boy telling him about the sea to wake him up to fight once more.

That’s who and what Eren is.

hushpiper: tell her that's young / and shuns to have her graces spied / that hadst thou sprung / in deserts where no men abide (Default)

Remember how some very observant people have pointed out how if you flip a world map upside down, Marley lines up very well with South Africa, and Paradis with Madagascar?

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There’s an interesting thing about this: in the real world, The Madagascar Plan was a plan proposed by the government of Nazi Germany to relocate (kind way to put it) the Jewish population to Madagascar.

The island was a French colony at the time that the plan was proposed, but France was very close to falling. The idea was to make them hand over Madagascar when they were forced to surrender, then ship away the Jews to Madagascar, where many of them would likely die due to the environmental conditions there.

The plan didn’t work out: the British blocked their ships from getting down there. So they turned toward the Final Solution instead.

Put this one into the Isayama Likes His WWII Parallels An Awful Lot and Isayama Is A Huge Military History Dork files.

hushpiper: tell her that's young / and shuns to have her graces spied / that hadst thou sprung / in deserts where no men abide (Default)

I haven’t been active in this fandom for very long so this might have been discussed to death already and so I’m sorry, but something just clicked for me:

Marley’s the only one who knows how to make pure titans–specifically, Marley’s military. I don’t think that was ever stated outright, but it’s been implied by everything, and I don’t remember anything contradicting it. At the very least, it is heavily implied by the fact that no other country has actually used titans as a weapon. That’s purely Marley’s domain.

Udo has said that conditions for Eldians outside of Marley are much worse; it’s also said by several people that Marley keeps Eldians around, in the ghetto, so that they have a stock of potential titans around to unleash if needed. But this makes sense: if other countries don’t know how to turn regular Eldians into pure titans, they can’t utilize them, and they have no reason to keep such a hated people around.

Then the hatred the other countries have for Eldians makes sense on a whole other, sickening level: they don’t know how Eldians become titans. These people don’t even know how it works, they don’t know that the Eldian they just bumped into in the street isn’t capable of suddenly becoming a mindless killing machine simply out of spite. And that Eldian doesn’t know it either: they might wish they could be that powerful, that they could spit in the grinding oppression and hatred they live with; or they might wish they just knew where the monster was in themselves so that they could cut it out and finally be accepted; but they can’t.

JFC every time I think of this fucked-up world I find a new reason to be horrified.

hushpiper: tell her that's young / and shuns to have her graces spied / that hadst thou sprung / in deserts where no men abide (Default)

I’ve been doing a lot of World War I research lately for a project, and with [tumblr.com profile] momtaku‘s posts about Erwin today, it brought on a thought.

At the heart of it, Isayama is really a military history buff, and he can’t be unaware of the stories that were told–good and bad–of the officers in WWI. And I wonder how much of what we see of the leadership and the deep comeraderie in the Survey Corps might be based on the relationships between the front-line officers and the soldiers in that war.

Unlike the higher-ranking staff officers, these officers lived with their men in the trenches of the Western Front: they endured the same conditions, lived with the same danger, and their men depended on them for guidance and purpose. They had to embody a certain unshakable courage and moral force in order to command the solders’ confidence, even when they themselves were terrified, and the soldiers often admired them deeply for it.

And it had to be that way. These officers were the ones who would lead their men over the tops of the trenches into poison gas, barbed wire, and machine gun fire in no man’s land–and their men followed them. Ordered to go anywhere, even out into the open, “they’ll go like lambs as long as they’ve got an officer with them.”

Every word of that applies just as strongly to Erwin and the Survey Corps: he rides out with them, putting himself into the same danger as the rest of them, and to them he is an almost superhuman figure in embodying the cause they give their lives for, and never wavering. And for his efforts, the soldiers trust him to decide how they die, and to give their deaths purpose.

But the bond was never one way only. In letters home–the only place they could be really expressive–the officers rarely talked about their own deeds or heroics. Instead, over and over, they spoke of their men–and that’s the part that reminds me most of Erwin. The letters of one officer, Captain Thomas Kettle, make me think so strongly of Erwin and his humility and unending regard for the people he led and the sacrifices they make, that I could imagine him having written them:

What impresses and moves me above all is the amazing faith, patience and courage of the men. To me it is not a sort of looking-down-on but rather a looking-up-to appreciation of them. I pray and pray and am afraid!–they go quietly and heroically on. God bless them and make me less inferior to them.

Erwin Smith died, alongside many of his men, in a successful attempt to retake Shiganshina and all of Wall Maria, an offensive which he knew he likely would not survive. Captain Kettle died, alongside many of his men, in a successful attempt to retake the village of Ginchy at the Battle of the Somme, an offensive which he also knew he likely would not survive. In his last letter to his brother he wrote:

We are moving up to-night into the battle of the Somme. The bombardment, destruction and bloodshed are beyond all imagination, nor did I ever think the valour of simple men could be quite as beautiful as my men’s. I have had two chances of leaving them–I have chosen to stay with my comrades.

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hushpiper: tell her that's young / and shuns to have her graces spied / that hadst thou sprung / in deserts where no men abide (Default)
hushpiper

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